Hurlyburly - The Continuing Tragic Saga - Chapter 6

"Mmmmmm, Loverboy, that feels sooo good!"

Michelle was in heaven. She was lying naked in the bathtub of the luxurious suite Loverboy had rented for them in the Sylvia Hotel. From the tub she could see a gorgeous view of English Bay and the North Shore Mountains. Loverboy was rubbing a silky smooth yet pungent-smelling concoction all over her body.

"What is that you're rubbing on me, my king?" Michelle asked, groaning in pleasure.

"It's a mixture of margarine, pot-pourri, and ostrich vomit," Loverboy said. "It's very good for the skin." He was naked except for a red ring of leather around the base of his penis and balls.

"Loverboy, that's grotesque!" Michelle yelled at the top of her lungs as she stood up abruptly. "You're rubbing puke into my skin? Jesus fucking Christ, what's wrong with you!"

She pushed him out of the bathroom and turned on the shower. Trying not to cry, she vigorously washed the mixture off her skin. She stayed in the shower for a while, trying to decide what to do. She was deeply infatuated with Loverboy, and yet at the moment the thought of him disgusted her.

When she finally went back out into the suite, she saw him staring out the window wistfully. He turned to face her with a sad look on his face. "My dear, dear goddess of grapefruits," he whispered. "I am sorry if I offended thee. I should have told you what the mixture was. I learned it from a shaman friend of mine in Botswana."

"Look Loverboy, I am sure you meant well," Michelle said coldly. "I just need some space right now okay? I am going to go down to the hotel bar and have a drink."

Tears started running down Loverboy's face as he rubbed the sheath of leather back and forth on his limp penis. "I'll make it up to you somehow, my princess of pineapples."

Michelle got dressed and went downstairs to the bar. She ordered a Monkey's Lunch from the bartender and went to find a table. There was only one other person in the bar, a man in his 50s who looked vaguely familiar. He was sitting alone at a table gulping down a bottle of scotch.

"Brian, is that you?" Michelle asked.

Brian Luther abruptly looked up and when he saw Michelle, he appeared at first startled, and then a bit angry. When he finally recognized her, a thin smile appeared. "Why Michelle Gatien, I certainly didn't expect to see you here!"

"I didn't know you were in Vancouver, Brian!" Michelle said. "That's wonderful, you are such an amazing man! Does Emily know about this?"

"Well, I'm afraid not," Brian said. "I, uh, well, I'm here on business, and I don't really have time for socializing. Now if you don't mind, I have some things to take care of."

Brian abruptly got up and ran out of the bar, taking the bottle of scotch with him. Michelle was confused, and slightly appalled. Emily's father was usually such a friendly man. He had acted very suspicious, as if he was hiding something.

"Oh well," Michelle thought. She looked out the window and watched as some roller bladers rode by on the seawall. She sipped her drink mournfully, wondering what to do about Loverboy. She supposed she should be more open-minded about the strange mixture. If it was from Botswana, it was probably legitimate.

Suddenly, a hand holding a purple envelope appeared in front of her face. "A surprise for you, my queen of quiche," murmured Loverboy as he sat down beside her. "Perhaps this will make up for my faux pas in the bathtub."

Michelle opened the envelope and saw two Air Canada tickets to the town of Bobtercock, Botswana. "The plane leaves tonight," Loverboy said with a smile. "It will be the most romantic time of your life. Let's go up and get you packed."